Post by somegirlok on Mar 15, 2010 18:56:40 GMT -5
I guess I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I have been in situations where men simply seemed like monsters. I was abducted and raped or nearly raped by a strange man who I did not want anything to do with. A drunk crazy man who acted like all women were kinky sex-addicted sleepers was moved into my mom’s house against my will, and then the house burned down. That man then opened his doors to my mom and I. Convenient, huh? Later, I got a job as a waitress in a restaurant where the male cook mocked me for not being able to do the job well. Plus, I’m from a certain religious background where women aren‘t the same as men, and I’ve heard too many horrible domestic violence stories associated with marriage, because the woman is usually morally obligated not to get a divorce. If men are all like this, why are men even on the face of the earth?
Nevertheless, something tells me that they aren’t all like this, and in the back of my mind I’ve even considered dating. Dating would hopefully be a good way to start making safe male friends, and maybe I would start to get a fresh perspective. Unfortunately, I feel like there would be a few issues. For one, I don’t think I’m comfortable wearing makeup or putting on pants. It’s partly religious and perhaps partly related to being afraid of being caught in another one of those stupid situations.
Plus, I know it may sound strange, but, on the same token, my self-esteem may need a boost. Perhaps I don’t think I’m pretty enough for a wholesome man and that a girl of my quality would only wind up with a creep. I’m a young, thin college student with some acne, and my personality may be lacking. Before I got to college, I was almost always picked on. Most of the teasing focused around my looks and behavior. I was kind of silly and really religious. I know, the two don’t seem to go together, but I guess I just wanted to appear friendly or interesting. My behavior usually wound up getting me targeted, though.
Looking back, I kind of wish someone would have taught me how to be the girl that most of the people liked. I was kind of shy, and my self-esteem plummeted when I was being bullied. I wanted some kind of relief from it and would sometimes go home and wish I wasn’t alive. Life’s never held that great of an appeal to me. I came from a lower middle class household. My mom and dad were in serious debt for some reason, though and usually pretty busy. I was taught to be careful, and I was taught that people will think that I'm different and not like me because of it.
(I request this information not be used in a book)
Nevertheless, something tells me that they aren’t all like this, and in the back of my mind I’ve even considered dating. Dating would hopefully be a good way to start making safe male friends, and maybe I would start to get a fresh perspective. Unfortunately, I feel like there would be a few issues. For one, I don’t think I’m comfortable wearing makeup or putting on pants. It’s partly religious and perhaps partly related to being afraid of being caught in another one of those stupid situations.
Plus, I know it may sound strange, but, on the same token, my self-esteem may need a boost. Perhaps I don’t think I’m pretty enough for a wholesome man and that a girl of my quality would only wind up with a creep. I’m a young, thin college student with some acne, and my personality may be lacking. Before I got to college, I was almost always picked on. Most of the teasing focused around my looks and behavior. I was kind of silly and really religious. I know, the two don’t seem to go together, but I guess I just wanted to appear friendly or interesting. My behavior usually wound up getting me targeted, though.
Looking back, I kind of wish someone would have taught me how to be the girl that most of the people liked. I was kind of shy, and my self-esteem plummeted when I was being bullied. I wanted some kind of relief from it and would sometimes go home and wish I wasn’t alive. Life’s never held that great of an appeal to me. I came from a lower middle class household. My mom and dad were in serious debt for some reason, though and usually pretty busy. I was taught to be careful, and I was taught that people will think that I'm different and not like me because of it.
(I request this information not be used in a book)