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Post by Dorothyl on Oct 29, 2005 5:38:24 GMT -5
This read struck me as one to share. Another persons struggles with eating disorders.
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Singer found freedom when she brought her secret eating disorder into the open.
Christian singer Natalie Grant isn't ashamed that she has short legs, freckles on her face and flaws with her body in unmentionable places. In the eyes of God, she knows that she is beautiful.
Surprisingly, it's a truth that as an adult she's just now grasping.
With a bubbly personality to go with a mile-wide smile, fabulous voice and songs such as "Held" sitting atop the Christian charts, few would believe that Grant was living a life of duplicity. One minute she was on stage singing songs steeped in scripture and quoting Bible verses and the next she was off stage puking in a toilet.
Grant suffered from bulimia nervosa, a serious, potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by unhealthy methods of getting rid of food -- vomiting, abusive use of laxatives or water pills, fasting and extreme exercise -- to avoid gaining weight. Grant attributed her illness to a low self-image as a 19-year-old college student and to the lie that she had to live up to cultural standards of having the ideal body and being beautiful and successful.
"I was living in perfection prison; I was such a fraud," said Grant, who at the Revolve Tour conference for teenage girls Nov. 4-5 at Target Center will talk about her new book, "The Real Me, Becoming the Girl God Sees." In the book, she shares her struggles with and victory over an eating disorder.
"I though it was my own secret thing, but one night I was at the base of a toilet and God took the blinders off. He told me I created you for more than this."
With a new understanding of what it means to be the woman God made her, Grant has gone public with her struggle, which she shares with 5 to 10 percent of females in the United States suffering from an eating disorder, according to statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health
-Tim Harlow, Star Tribune ********************************************
For all you beautifuul ladies out there with the struggles of eating disorders, you are not alone!
We all face some sort of inner struggle, it is important to reach out for help.
We are not GOD and we cannot help ourselves all of the time.
People are put on this earth to help one another.
My site is put here to make a place for women to help women!
SO PLEASE talk to us and make your life a much nicer place to live!
HUGGZZZZZZZZZ~D~
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Post by powerhse82 on Oct 30, 2005 21:39:24 GMT -5
Thank you Dorothy......some of us with ED need an occasional shot in the arm. Other's of us need it daily. Love Val
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Post by powerhse82 on Nov 2, 2005 22:35:50 GMT -5
I hope that we can do more with the ED. It is a vital part of self-esteem for women. It doesn't matter if the Eating Disorder is Anorexia, Bulemia, Binging, Compulsive Over Eating or other. Any way that food controls us is an Eating Disorder. If anyone else is out there...let's talk about it. I had such a hard time admitting that I actually had an ED........I'd like to keep working on it. Thanks, Val
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Post by deb48 on Nov 28, 2005 17:44:44 GMT -5
Thank you for the message..It is SOOO embarrassing to have food control your life..I was told by a fellow alcoholic that if the doctor said I would need a shot of alcohol a day to stay alive we both know where that would lead me..deathrow.. one is to many and 100 shots wouldn't be enought..now I have a doctor telling me to eat 5-6 small meals a day..that seems like a "death sentence" to me..as of lately, I have been doing one meal aday..from sun up to bedtime..I am so grateful for this site..thanks to all who are "cheering" me on..
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Post by Italiangirl on Nov 29, 2005 4:26:44 GMT -5
I have had an ED since my high school years, now I am 34 and a mother of 2 I can say I am taking control. I think my pregnancies saved me, as I was so conscious of the new life inside of me I felt that I could not abuse my body any longer. I still obsess about food, but in a positive way. I have eliminated refined sugar, white flour and all fast food from my diet. I still have my moments, but I try to make up for them by exercising and eating lighter meals to balance out the damage! I heard a song the other day and one phrase jumped out at me..."only change can get you out of the darkness"...and I am changing every day. I try to get inspiration from those around me, my friends, this forum (!) and happy people in general.
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mel1
Extreme Diva Godess
Posts: 955
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Post by mel1 on Mar 12, 2006 8:33:31 GMT -5
Hi ladies, Just wondering how the eating disorder problem is going. It's something I suffered from at around 18 to 19 and still am not quite sure what triggered my recovery. I can't think of a better way to describe how it felt than God's grace. I'd known all along that my body was being damaged and that my outward appearance was not the important thing but it took a long time for it to filter through to the place that really touched me.
One day I just stopped worrying about what went in and out of my mouth. I ate what the family ate, which was always well balanced as Mum was careful about her family's health - and stopped eating it when I felt satisfied. Not ten minutes after I felt satisfied but as soon as my tummy said, that's just perfect thank you. I threw away the calorie counter and refused to step on the scales. I retrained myself slowly but surely to concentrate on the inner me and to simply treat my body well and sensibly.
I made myself focus on my spirituality and only to worry about my body in terms of health. Nothing new or brilliant in all of this, I'm sure. I also resent the media with it's constant messages of perfection as I know that this was the reason for my eating disorder in the first place. It's a dangerous, powerful tool that's wielded by big business in order to keep us buying what they've got to offer us as a cure for all our 'ugliness'. I wonder if, as I grow older and start to gain the inevitable weight around the middle and thighs, whether that eating disorder might be a threat to me again. I still haven't stopped counting the calories in my head - after 26 years. I hope and pray that all of us here will overcome and thrive.
Much love, Mel
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Post by pinkvibes on Mar 13, 2006 0:17:38 GMT -5
ED and stress were the reasons why I'm sick now with SLE. And until this very moment, I'm still regretful, I didn't fight it. I never knew then what ED means. I was controlling my food because I was a Medical Technology student and we had this white nurse's uniform that fits the curves of the body. I was a sophomore in college when I noticed that I had a hard time fitting into the uniform and I was afraid I was gonna gain more weight and get bigger. Everyone else were slim and thin, and all the girls were pretty in their uniform, except me. I looked like I was gonna break out of the dress. I really felt horrible and started not eating on time until such time when I already missed meals, or if I did eat, I just ate a sthingyful or two. I felt lighter a week after and even a few weeks after that. It took a toll on my health a few months later when I was already vomiting and refusing to eat more than a sthingyful or two. It was really devastating as I can't stand long enough, my joints were aching and i can't eat. Later, I was admitted to the hospital and had to stop school. I was diagnosed with SLE a.k.a Lupus and that was the end to all of my dreams as I was told I can't get exposed to sunlight because it will trigger my illness and stress is to be avoided. Up to this day, I still recall my college days and still feel bad about giving in to the psychiatric disorder that destroyed my life. But having accepted Jesus in my life now and with a group of friends in this forum to support me, I know I'm not alone in my struggles.
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mel1
Extreme Diva Godess
Posts: 955
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Post by mel1 on Mar 13, 2006 4:56:15 GMT -5
You gorgeous girl. Try not to think about yourself as giving in. You need to be as kind to yourself as you would to a friend and you don't seem like the kind of person who'd give a friend a hard time over this. You were feeling low as all of us who've battled with an ED feel at the time. The world is a harsh place with its ridiculous demands on women. Some of us are meant to be curvy (not me, I'm still waiting for my breasts to develop lol) and there can be unity in diversity.
External forces were unkind to you and it took you a while to strengthen yourself against the onslaught - that makes you normal. In fact better than normal as I'm willing to bet you're a sensitive soul and therefore terribly vulnerable. I doubt that a few months worth of battle with an eating disorder was responsible for your lupus - it can be triggered by all sorts of stressors and no doubt has a genetic component that plays a large part as well.
I'm sorry to hear you're so ill at such a young age and I know all about chronic pain. Be tender with yourself. Look at it this way. If you hadn't become ill, would you have turned to writing? Perhaps that is your true calling after all. Sometimes we are driven in certain directions by the universe and it's not always kind but does get its way in the end.
I hope you are feeling well at this moment. Much love, Mel
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Post by pinkvibes on Mar 14, 2006 23:03:15 GMT -5
You're definitely right Mel. I wouldn't have turned to writing if I didn't get struck with lupus. Writing has always been my first love but my folks were never supportive of my writing. They said "no one became wealthy out of it and that i don't have a future if i choose that field" that's why i gave up on it a long time ago although I still find time to write during my leisure hours. Thank you so much for showing me the light! Now, I'm seeing the bigger picture. You are very helpful. Thank you so much... Huggggzzz.....
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Post by powerhse82 on Apr 5, 2006 17:18:03 GMT -5
Me & my ed! I have had an eating disorder for more than 23 yrs now. In the last yr or so did I actually admit it to myself. I have yet to get a grip on it. The binging is less...purging better some days other days not so great! I know it sounds like a silly thing....my mom says "just stop it!" Ironic that she is a nurse! It has been a part of my life for so long that it's an automatic habit! I always realize when I am binging but not always when I am purging. I know all the things that it can do....and like Mel, I have a chronic illness (fibromyalgia). I have no idea if the two are related...I'm sure that one does not help the other. Everyday I deal with the fibro, the bi-polar and anxiety. It seems that the bulimia is one of the last things on my mind. Until I have pain in my chest, or my throat hurts from vomiting or I've already purged 5 or 6 times and then I realize that it's too much. Purging 5 or 6 times is not much compared to some. I guess that's how I convince myself that it's not as bad as it could be....right???!!! After all I am not under weight...still have about 30 lbs before I would even worry about the weight issue. I feel like I am babbling...not really making any point or sense even. With a lot of prayers, hard work and a bit of luck maybe before I hit 42...I'll have it under control!!!! Thanks for listening! Love you, Val
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perny
Extreme Diva Godess
Posts: 879
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Post by perny on Apr 5, 2006 18:56:14 GMT -5
(((Val))) Not only do the two affect each other...the affects of purging mirror the symptoms of FM. Muscle aches from a lack of potassium from vomitting is a biggie...Remember, the heart is just a muscle, and it's why Terry Schiavo and Karen Carpenter and several thousand other bulimics keel over from purging. What's tragic is....if a bulimic doesn't disclose to a doctor they are purging...a misdiagnosis is made based on the symptoms of a disorder. All sorts of autoimmune disorders like FM are misdiagnosed because of purging. In bulimia, age is on your side, as it it is usually a very young woman's disorder, w/symptoms retreating during a woman's 30-40's. It's a good thing you started taking notice this year about how serious the problem is...and your mom's advice "just stop it" is kind of funny for a nurse. I think Paula Abdul's personal story is a powerful tool for success. Have you read this one? Love you chickie...wishing you all the best in fighting your demons. Perny
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mel1
Extreme Diva Godess
Posts: 955
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Post by mel1 on Apr 6, 2006 8:34:36 GMT -5
Hi Val, Trust a nurse to tell you just to 'stop'. I always find that medical people are about the worst when it comes down to understanding and sympathy. When a friend of mine was suffering from post-operative adhesions, mostly in her girly bits so she was in quite a bit of pain, the specialist told her to put up with it. 'It's a woman's lot in life to suffer,' he explained philosophically. My friend is a staunch feminist so I'm really impressed that she didn't just knock him down dead on the spot! And before I had my diagnosis for CFS a doctor wrote me a medical certificate for work that stated 'Melinda Kahler is suffering from Melinda Kahler.' When I brought it back and pointed out that her mistake was a little Freudian, she replied that she thought it was quite accurate. So yes, medical people are not known for their sympathy.
I wish I could help you. You've no idea how much I wish I could help you! But my mind is coming up with a blank. Lots of fervent desire to put brilliant, wise words on paper but no go - God will have to come through for you. I'll tell Him tonight that it's his job to come through for you. Sometimes He listens and sometimes He just thinks I'm hilarious. You've got a lot on your plate at the moment from what I've read in your posts so my thoughts are with you. Much love, Mel
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perny
Extreme Diva Godess
Posts: 879
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Post by perny on Apr 7, 2006 10:09:13 GMT -5
'Melinda Kahler is suffering from Melinda Kahler.' ((Mel)) That's just hateful awful! A drug store company here in the states is being sued for something similar. Each customer who purchases prescriptions at this store has a card on file. Employess are supposed to use the card to jot down notes that will help them better serve the customer. A woman learned that derogatory things were written on her card...like "the crazy woman"...now that she has come forward, several other customers demanded to see their cards...and now there's a class action suit. You should cross out your name at the end of the statement and write in the doctor's name. That should never happen to anyone. love, Perny
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